God explains it this way,īlessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. It is in the middle of these hard realities that your faith and trust in God grows. Nor is he naive to your struggle with grief and pain. God is not naive to the realities that drive someone to suicide. Where else will you go? Who is bigger than the things in your heart that are tied in knots or dangling loose? After all the struggling to make sense, after all the sickening grief at the finality of the act, after all the anger at the betrayal, at a fundamental level you must be able to say, “I do not understand this and I must leave it with you, my God and my King.” Faith grows in weakness You have to say, along with Peter, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God” (John 6:68-69, ESV). Lewis captured this condition of our “comprehensive weakness” when he wrote in his book, The Four Loves, that our need for God is revealed in our “growing awareness that our whole being by its very nature is one vast need, incomplete, preparatory, empty yet cluttered, crying out for him who can untie things that are now knotted together and tie up things that are still dangling loose.” Experiencing the suicide of someone you love will put you in a place where all you can do is cry out to God, the only one who can untie the things that are all knotted together and the only one who can tie up things that are dangling loose. And you will live with an ongoing sense that “I don’t understand, and it hurts every time I remember.” The suicide of someone you love brings great, ongoing weakness into your life.Ĭ. You will never feel good about it or “get over it” in the sense that it won’t hurt anymore. You will never have an answer that ties up all the loose ends. He gives you something much better-in response to your sorrow, your emotions, and your unanswered questions, he gives you Himself. And God, in the Bible, doesn’t offer you platitudes and pat answers. How can you deal with these painful reactions? There is no quick and easy solution to what you are facing. (For more help in understanding the reasons for suicidal thoughts and actions see the article, “Help for the Suicidal.”) Facing suicide by faith You are left with questions that can’t be answered because the person who committed suicide is gone. Everyone who is touched by suicide wrestles with “Why did this happen? Why did it have to come to this? Couldn’t it have been stopped?” But no matter what reasons there were for the suicide, in the end, it can never be completely explained. You might be afraid that you also are at risk for suicidal behavior. Fear of doing the same thing: Someone else’s suicide can make you fearful that you might do the same thing.So it’s likely that you are experiencing feelings of anger and betrayal. Anger and betrayal: Suicide is a loveless act.Guilt and responsibility: It’s normal to wonder, “Could I have done something?” and “If only I’d done this.” Or, “Why didn’t I notice that?”.You are probably experiencing one or more of these emotions: But suicide adds many other painful reactions to the heartache that death brings. So you feel the emptiness and sorrow of loss. First, you are feeling the natural response of deep grief.

You are experiencing a variety of emotions and feelings. How do you come to terms with the suicide of someone you know? Can you make any sense out of such a senseless act? And how does knowing God make a difference as you grieve? What you are facing Now you are trying to make sense of what happened. Your initial reaction was probably shock and disbelief. You are experiencing a whole range of emotions and reactions, and each one is painful. You feel rocked, hurt, betrayed, and confused. And now you are facing a very hard, dark reality. Help for Those Grieving a Suicide What You Need to Know

Friend committed suicide